Lions, and tigers, and blogging - Oh my!

After only one day and exactly one blog, I have come to the sad realization that blogging might not be good for me.  After posting my first blog last night, I went to bed way after Soulmate went to bed.  It was midnight and past my normal bed time.  I was bone tired from a busy week, but my mind was going a mile a minute.  The following events then took place . . .

1.  As soon as I got in bed and quickly kissed Soulmate good night, I grabbed a notebook and began to make a list of blogging ideas.  Oh my, the gray matter was churning out some great ideas.  I could barely get one down before another brain synapse would spark.  In a matter of minutes, I had a list of 25 ideas for future blogs.  In the midst of my cerebral tornado, I had the clarity to realize that I needed to stop, turn the light out, and go to bed.  I reminded myself that I had chosen blogging as a healthy activity for me not as a time and rest robbing "have to."  I want to share with you that I only turned the light back on only one more time, but you have to admit that a blog posting analyzing different types of movie goers is pretty exciting.

What does this tell you about me?  I suffer from perfectionism which is the root of OCD behavior.  (More about this later)

and then . . .

2.  While lying in bed waiting for sleepy time, the following thoughts began:  What was I thinking - To Kill a Mockingbird before The Bible?  People will think I don't have my priorities straight... Ramona Age 8 but very few classics?  No literary substance to you!  Will people think it was it a copout to not list favorite movies?  I hope I didn't have any misspelled words.  That would have been horrible... I am so glad that I caught the misspelling  of Zeppelin.  Why do people pronounce it with three syllables when there are really four syllables ... led..zepp...e...lin.  Gosh, should I have even listed Led Zeppelin?  I look like such an old rocker.  I like Adelle... maybe I should have added her... makes me look more up-to-date.  And so on and so on until I had to hypothetically slap myself upside the head "Stop it - you need to sleep!"


What does this tell you about me?  I suffer from approval addiction.  (More about this later)

and then . . .

3.  After tossing and turning for several minutes trying hopelessly to drop-off to sleep, the thoughts began again.... how often should I blog..how do people learn about your blog...what if no one reads it...I wonder how slow the readership was when the pioneer woman started blogging...should I include photos....how often should I change my profile...should I tell people about the blog....work it in conversations...do people make money off blogs....  Once again, I had to mentally draw a halt to my mental ramblings.

What does this tell you about me?  I suffer from the performance trap.  (More about this later)

and then . . .

4.  I realized that I was wasting time and energy and was in danger of turning this positive new thing in my life into a negative.  I began to doubt myself and feeling of shame that I had once again let something so quickly get out of control.  I finally dropped off to sleep feeling a sense of guilt and remorse.

What does this tell you about me?  I even sometimes suffer from shame.  (More about this later)

After only 24 hours, I am now announcing that I will be taking a 24 hour or 48 hour or maybe even more hours (I was at the need for a calculator point) break from blogging.  After last night, I realized that I may just need to dust off my dog eared, Diet Dr. Pepper stained copy of Search for Significance and my Bible to remind myself of some spiritual truths about these areas.  I know myself well and I have to filter all of my activities through what the Bible says about perfectionism, approval addiction, the performance trap, and shame.  These are not of God.  

So, my new friend or friends or just air - I will blog at you in a day or two or three . . .  let me get my mind and emotions right.  Now for the more about this later part...If you struggle with any of these I suggest Search for Significance.  It is a study that will guide you to spiritual truths that help you deal with these issues.  It is an awesome study.


Remember - There is now therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.   Romans 8:1  

Thanks for listening...or reading....or viewing....or sharing this with me...or... oh no here I go again!!!!

Love to all or no one out there - whichever fits.  J