Family Night!

It's Friday and if you are a Wynnederson, you know what that means!  It's Family Night!

One of our favorite traditions when we were raising kids was family night.  Ours was always Friday night. Our friends, the Tullos family, had family night on Saturday night with Walker,Texas Ranger, but Friday was definitely our night.   

The formula was simple, but it worked for many years.  The following ingredients were critical:

1.  Two comforters with balloon print spread across the floor
2.  Everyone in comfy clothes
3. Everyone present.  Friday nights were sacred.  I remember how sad Tyler was when he was still young and thinking family night would always be. He couldn't believe that when  his sisters went away to college, they wouldn't be there for family night.
4.  Some form of pizza - sources varied through the years depending on where we lived - Little Caesar's, Domino's, Pizza Hut, Papa John's,  frozen Totino's during lean years - you could get them for less than a dollar - and even a few times when Soulmate decided to make pizzas,  That man - he can do it all.  Through the many years of family night, the menu never varied. Always pizza.
5.  Dorky Friday night TV - for years it was TGIF.  Do any of the following sound familiar to you? Family Matters, Full House, Step by Step, Boy Meets World, Hanging with Mr. Cooper.  Occasionally, it was old movies like A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court with Bing Crosby and The Court Jester with Danny Kaye or Calamity Jane with Doris Day.   At Christmas time it was always Christmas movies like White Christmas and the original Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.  

It seems so simple, but trust me it worked for years.  Just bodies of children spread across the comforters enjoying pizza and watching TV together and enjoying being together.  Often our own four were joined by friends who had come for a sleepover.  The friends knew what Friday night was like in the Wynne home, and I think they liked it too.

Now on Friday nights, there aren't any balloon comforters on the floor and TGIF is no more and there aren't sweet children strewn across the room angling for their space on the comforter, TV show or the last piece of pizza.

But habits die hard.  Most Friday nights, Soulmate and I are in our chairs eating pizza and watching TV.

It is quieter but still as sweet.

And every so often, the phone will ring, and one of our four will say "Are you having family night?  I'm on my way."

That's when I know that family night was about more than pizza, and silly TV shows.  It was about family.

Love to all of you out there or no one - whichever fits. J

I do not like green eggs and ham!

We love books in our home.  Always have and still do.  Some of my favorite memories of our children involved books.  I loved watching Soulmate read to them - so sweet.  I enjoyed reading to them myself until they began to read on their own.   The same treasured volumes were read over and over again until we could recite the words.

Indulge me while I take a trip down memory lane as I share a few of our favorite books from our kids' younger years.

• Goodnight Moon - all time favorite bedtime story for our children when they were itty bitty.  We love to give this book to special new babies in our life.
• Curious George and Corduroy - Jammie loved these books.
• Angelina the Ballerina and The Very Hungry Caterpillar - La's faves.
• The Monster at the End of this Book - oh, silly Grover - you weren't scary at all!
• All books by Dr. Seuss - we love the doctor in our house!  The Lorax, The Cat in the Hat, Green Eggs and Ham... - Soulmate was and still is the best Seuss reader!
• Ramona Quimby, Age 8 - Ramona, you rock those bangs!
• Junie B. Jones books - Allie lived for these books.  Thanks, Mrs. Lackey - we love you!
• Captain Underpants series - Tyler's alter ego!
• Where the Sidewalk Ends and Falling Up by Shel Silverstein - our children's introduction to poetry
• Madeline books - Twelve little girls all in a line, and the littlest one is Madeline  Allie and I read these together.
• The Secret Garden - I read this one aloud to Jammie and Lauren on the way to Washington DC
• All books by Eric Carle  - wonderful illustrations (see Caterpillar above)
• Jumanji
• Where the Wild Things Are
• Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
• If You Give a Mouse a Cookie

This is just a small sampling... I got a little misty eyed just typing these sweet titles.

And what about you?  What favorite children's book comes to your mind?

Send me your favorite title as a comment by October 15th.  I will hold a drawing of those submitted and buy a copy of the winning title to donate to the Union Gospel Mission children's program.  Maybe your favorite will become the favorite of a homeless child in our community.  

Love to all of you out there or no one - whichever fits. J

Straw Wrappers

Recently, I looked over the list of blog ideas that I compiled in the middle of the night when I became blog possessed.  There was some obvious ideas such as "lessons I've learned though life," "things I don't like," and "what the world needs now..."  However, the one that caught my eye was "straw wrappers."

Straw wrappers - what the heck is that about?  Right between blog idea #11 and # 12  was straw wrappers.  Why would I write that down?  I could not think for the life of me why I would want to write about straw wrappers.  Did I fall asleep at that point, and write it in my sleep?  No matter how hard I tried, I could not retrieve the mental pathway that led to straw wrappers.  Finally, I gave up and walked away from the list.

The next day I happened to mention the mysterious straw wrappers to Soulmate.  He got this huge grin on his face and said "Sure, I could see you writing down straw wrappers - think about it!"  Slowly, the haze of my 55 year old mind began to clear.  I think I blushed a little realizing what this was all about and would I really want to share this with the blog world.  Of all the great kernels of insight, personal history, and even just maybe a little wisdom that I hoped to share through this blog, would I want to choose to share my feelings about straw wrappers!

Ok - here it is!  I might as well do it. It is only fitting that I begin in the following manner:

Hi, my name is Janet, and I am a straw wrapper control freak!

My problem started somewhere between child number one and four along with the countless friends of my children who rode in our cars through the years.  I love kids, and our cars were always full of them, but I hate trash and things left behind to junk up my car.  I mean really despise it. For years my children would hear the following refrain the minute we turned into our driveway- get your stuff together - pick up the trash - don't forget your backpacks, jackets, stuff, books - and so on and so on the nagging went.

It was a thankless task.  Regardless of the efforts, fossilized French fries, little toys, books, school papers, jackets, and a jillion straw wrappers littered the car.  One day after years of passing drinks to the back of a mini-van, urine colored LTD (my kids' description not mine), or a Suburban, I had an epiphany.  I may not be able to control all the junk in the car, but I could control one thing - straw wrappers!

From that moment on, no one in my car got a completely "clothed" straw.  I would get the straw, and rip the end of it off.  I would hold onto the end with the wrapper on it, and the child could grab their straw and slide it out of the wrapper.   Perfectly hygenic!  With just that small little action, I regained a little control in my life, and oh it felt so good!

Thus, began a practice that continues to this day.  If you ride in my car and we decide to stop at Sonic or Chick-Fila or Starbucks or wherever, you will be given your straw in this matter regardless of who you are or whatever your age is.  I have gotten a few strange looks, but frankly I don't care.  My car - my rules!

So what does this mean to you?  Think on this - If you feel that your personal world is off its axis and everything is beyond your control, do not fret.  There is one area you can control - straw wrappers.  It can make all the difference!  And when you get that little control back in your life, you can thank me with a trip to Sonic.  I will know and appreciate how you hand me my straw.

Love to all of you out there or no one - whichever fits. J

Daughter of my heart

Divorce is certainly not of God.  It is manmade and is against God's design.  It creates pain, wounds, and scars that can last a lifetime especially when children are affected by it.

But, because we serve a Savior of second chances, He can take something ugly and destructive like divorce and through His amazing grace turn it into something beautiful and precious.  Today I was reminded once again at how much I have been blessed through His grace and given something beautiful and precious - the daughter of my heart.

Today, my oldest daughter married her soulmate in a lovely garden wedding.  She looked so beautiful and radiant in a beautiful dress that she designed herself.   She and I worked hard the last two months as we pulled together all the many things that go into a wedding.  It was a sweet time for us.  I hope the wedding was everything she dreamed it would be.  I think it was.  

Twenty-five years ago, she came into my life when I was chosen by her father to be his wife and her mother.  It was new territory for me - this idea of step-motherhood.   This new daughter of my heart made it easy as she immediately announced that she would be calling me Mommy.  And from that moment on that was what she called me, changing it to Mom as she neared the teenage years.  She didn't do that to dishonor her own biological mother, but I think just enjoyed that she would now have two mothers.  And for the last twenty-five years, it has been my privilege and pleasure to be her Mom. 

I can't believe that the cute lively little girl who first called me Mommy is now a beautiful young woman starting on her own journey of marriage.  I love the young woman she has become.  She is a thoughtful and loyal friend.  She has a compassionate heart and loves her family.  She loves books, animals, and Dr. Who which makes her father very happy.  Her wedding reflected her appreciation of all things natural.  Her father and I are very proud of the woman she has become, and our prayer for her and her soulmate is that their marriage is one of happiness and contentment.  

Thank you God for the gift of this daughter of my heart.  Thank you for letting me be her Mommy.

Love to all of you out there or no one - whichever fits. J

Everything you wanted to know about my listmaking but were afraid to ask

I am a big listmaker.  I mean major league.  Really serious about my lists, I am.  I mean it.  Really.

Nothing makes me more focused and in control especially when I am bombarded by tasks and activities. When I feel myself getting in that overwhelmed state, I list everything that I need to do no matter how minor - a phone call, card, gift, task, or errand.  It helps me make sure that I do the things that I loath as well as those that I love.  I try to make myself do the loathed things first!

I make lists when I have a lot to do, but I also love to make lists when I am really bored.  I have perfected the professional pose of taking copious notes and acting like I am hanging on every word in a really boring meeting when, in reality, I am working on my Christmas list.  And it may only be April.  Or a list of things that I would like to do - books I want to read, movies I want to see, people I want to see, call, or send a card to.  If you are ever in a meeting with me, you are going to wonder what I am up to!  You'll never know because I am really good at this skill, having perfected it over years of boring meetings.

I have tried different versions of listmaking through the years.  Tried the computer version with the electronic click when the task is completed.  Tried the palm pilot version.  For me, I need the old fashioned pen and paper.  For a long time, my preferred version was a letter size yellow legal pad. (letter not legal - very important).  Throughout my administrative career, my yellow legal pad could be found on the corner of my desk.  Daily, the pad would contain a mixture of items - some professional, some personal, some major and some minor.  That simple pad was my roadmap during those hectic days, helping me navigate our busy life.

Now, my life is busy but simpler. Most days I don't sit at a desk.  My lists are now made in a small spiral that will fit in my purse rather than my old yellow legal pads.  I have a big personal section and a  smaller professional section now.  It is easier now to keep those lists separate.  I like that.  I feel more balanced.

My favorite thing about my listmaking is what I do when an item is completed.  I am very specific about this.  When I am finished, I take my pen and I mark out the item making circular squiggles all the way across the item.  Not a line and definitely not scratching it out.  I know it is weird but it's what  I like.  I love the tactile feel of the pen (never a pencil) as I make the circular motion across the words written on the list.  Emotionally, I enjoy for a moment that feeling of completion.  I do this over and over on the list as items are completed.

I love the feeling when the paper that was once full of things to do is now full of looping, connecting circles.  A completed list makes me happy.  I mean it. Really.  

Love to all of you out there or no one  - whichever fits! J

Lions, and tigers, and blogging - Oh my!

After only one day and exactly one blog, I have come to the sad realization that blogging might not be good for me.  After posting my first blog last night, I went to bed way after Soulmate went to bed.  It was midnight and past my normal bed time.  I was bone tired from a busy week, but my mind was going a mile a minute.  The following events then took place . . .

1.  As soon as I got in bed and quickly kissed Soulmate good night, I grabbed a notebook and began to make a list of blogging ideas.  Oh my, the gray matter was churning out some great ideas.  I could barely get one down before another brain synapse would spark.  In a matter of minutes, I had a list of 25 ideas for future blogs.  In the midst of my cerebral tornado, I had the clarity to realize that I needed to stop, turn the light out, and go to bed.  I reminded myself that I had chosen blogging as a healthy activity for me not as a time and rest robbing "have to."  I want to share with you that I only turned the light back on only one more time, but you have to admit that a blog posting analyzing different types of movie goers is pretty exciting.

What does this tell you about me?  I suffer from perfectionism which is the root of OCD behavior.  (More about this later)

and then . . .

2.  While lying in bed waiting for sleepy time, the following thoughts began:  What was I thinking - To Kill a Mockingbird before The Bible?  People will think I don't have my priorities straight... Ramona Age 8 but very few classics?  No literary substance to you!  Will people think it was it a copout to not list favorite movies?  I hope I didn't have any misspelled words.  That would have been horrible... I am so glad that I caught the misspelling  of Zeppelin.  Why do people pronounce it with three syllables when there are really four syllables ... led..zepp...e...lin.  Gosh, should I have even listed Led Zeppelin?  I look like such an old rocker.  I like Adelle... maybe I should have added her... makes me look more up-to-date.  And so on and so on until I had to hypothetically slap myself upside the head "Stop it - you need to sleep!"


What does this tell you about me?  I suffer from approval addiction.  (More about this later)

and then . . .

3.  After tossing and turning for several minutes trying hopelessly to drop-off to sleep, the thoughts began again.... how often should I blog..how do people learn about your blog...what if no one reads it...I wonder how slow the readership was when the pioneer woman started blogging...should I include photos....how often should I change my profile...should I tell people about the blog....work it in conversations...do people make money off blogs....  Once again, I had to mentally draw a halt to my mental ramblings.

What does this tell you about me?  I suffer from the performance trap.  (More about this later)

and then . . .

4.  I realized that I was wasting time and energy and was in danger of turning this positive new thing in my life into a negative.  I began to doubt myself and feeling of shame that I had once again let something so quickly get out of control.  I finally dropped off to sleep feeling a sense of guilt and remorse.

What does this tell you about me?  I even sometimes suffer from shame.  (More about this later)

After only 24 hours, I am now announcing that I will be taking a 24 hour or 48 hour or maybe even more hours (I was at the need for a calculator point) break from blogging.  After last night, I realized that I may just need to dust off my dog eared, Diet Dr. Pepper stained copy of Search for Significance and my Bible to remind myself of some spiritual truths about these areas.  I know myself well and I have to filter all of my activities through what the Bible says about perfectionism, approval addiction, the performance trap, and shame.  These are not of God.  

So, my new friend or friends or just air - I will blog at you in a day or two or three . . .  let me get my mind and emotions right.  Now for the more about this later part...If you struggle with any of these I suggest Search for Significance.  It is a study that will guide you to spiritual truths that help you deal with these issues.  It is an awesome study.


Remember - There is now therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.   Romans 8:1  

Thanks for listening...or reading....or viewing....or sharing this with me...or... oh no here I go again!!!!

Love to all or no one out there - whichever fits.  J

No longer a blog virgin!

I have been intrigued with this idea of blogging for a long time.  This concept of sending out my thoughts to the world (or possibly no one depending on the world's interest in the thoughts of a really tired 55 year old) has been rolling around in my mind for awhile.  I follow a very few blogs - Allie, my youngest daughter, The Pioneer Woman, and Rage Against the Minivan are the main ones.  My fascination with blogging started with reading the book upon which the movie Julie/Julia was based.  My OCD side loved the idea of completing those many French recipes and the accompanying blogs all in one year.  Those of you who know me would understand my interest in cooking all of that food faded pretty quickly, but the interest in the blogging has remained.  I just didn't want to appear as angry as Julie, but definitely wanted to be seen as charming as Julia.

What have been the barriers to this blogging stuff for me?

1. Technology - enough said!  Allie helped me there.  She set up my page,  Trust me when I say that the above links in this first post took several attempts before I got them right.  Please honor my efforts by trying at least one of the links.  There may never be another one.  Thank you, Allie!

2.  The idea of sending my thoughts out to the world is a little scary to me.  Remember, I am of the age that a person's thoughts were kept in a diary with a tiny lock and key that was purchased at the five and dime.  I am still a little frightened about letting loose some out of control emotional rambling along the technological backroads. I promise to use my blogging power only for good.  Is there a blogging policeman out there who can help me keep to my blog honor code?

3.  Do I really need another time consumer in my life?  Everyday I am overwhelmed with all the things that I feel like I need to get done.  Do I really need something else?  I am determined to approach this blogging thing as a maybe not a have to.  I want to indulge in some creative, fun, reflective activity that brings me and just maybe someone else some joy.

Why do it - I use to love to write creatively.  For many years, I have written technically.  I want to write again.  I want to share through my words.  I want to communicate through a new medium.  I am going to blog.  In fact, I am blogging.  Wow - it was easier than I thought.

I have lived such a blessed life.  It hasn't been perfect.  There have been times of hardship and pain, but there has also been times of such incredible joy and fulfillment.  Throughout all of them, God has been sufficient.   I picked words from a favorite old hymn to title this new adventure.  Today I begin to share my story, my song with you.  If there is no you out there, I will still enjoy the act of writing for pleasure, the discipline of making regular contributions to a personal project, and the healthy practice of reflecting on my life past, present, and to come.  Today I have become a blogger!  It feels good.  Love to all or no one - whichever fits.   J